Your partner’s body changes during pregnancy and the focus on the birth itself make it easy to think that her feelings are the only ones which count. Your concern for her physical and mental health is important now and after the baby is born, but so are your own feelings.

It is very easy for an expectant dad to talk excitedly about the positives of becoming a father. It is much tougher to give voice to the equally important feelings of fear and apprehension. Will I faint at the birth? Will there be medical complications? After the birth, how will our relationship change? Can I pursue my career and be the father I want to be?

Your partner needs to hear your feelings. Many men keep their fears about pregnancy and fatherhood to themselves because they don’t want to add to their partner’s worries. Don’t be afraid of burdening her. Most women crave this kind of interaction, and they know that becoming a father brings challenges. Sharing your fears with your partner will bring you closer.

You can also seek out other expectant fathers, read a good book about becoming a father, and attend a group for support. Give yourself permission to express your feelings of both vulnerability and excitement. If we always play the part of men who are strong, we lose touch with a part of ourselves. If you express your concerns during pregnancy and early parenting, you challenge the myth that we merely accompany our partners through the process.