A baby shower can be a surprise, planned with the mum-to-be’s full knowledge, or even a bit of both. In the US, a baby shower is pretty much expected (in the same way that we would expect to have a hen night before our wedding), but it is still often planned as a surprise (i.e. the mum-to-be knows it is going to happen, but not necessarily where and when). But in the UK, it is still a relatively new phenomenon and the mum-to-be might not even have considered being on the receiving end of a baby shower.

When making the decision, we would simply suggest you think about what is best in your particular circumstance. Does the mum-to-be like surprises? Will she be genuinely flattered and pleased at having this surprise, or do you think she would rather be involved from the start and let you know who she might like to invite. Can you plan it so that the mum-to-be will be looking her best at the shower (and therefore feeling happy and comfortable)? Would she like the opportunity to give some ideas of baby-items that she might like, or could you get this information from the father-to-be, still keeping the baby shower as a surprise? You should also consider whether she is superstitious – in some cases such as this you may prefer to throw the baby shower after the baby is born (about 2 months).